What You’re Asking: Thieves, Moonlight, and Those With Elf Proclivities

‘Cupid the Honey Thief’ by Albrecht Durer 1514 {{PD-Art}}

‘What You’re Asking’ is gleaned from Search Terms that lead readers to this blog and to Julie Demboski’s Astrology.

the unhappy Venus quincunx Chiron

My immediate thought was that this was someone very Self-aware, pinpointing a cross-chart (between the charts of two individuals) connection that she suspected was the explanation of her ennui (for I believed this must be a woman asking, with her Venus in the equation to a man’s Chiron)–and if so, I think she’s right. Venus stands for a woman’s sense of herself in an ideal form, and when this is in harsh contact to one or more placements in a partner’s chart, it can be hard for the woman to feel loved. supported, or even approved of. In the case of a woman’s Venus quincunx a man’s Chiron, his own primal wound may insist her sense of herself as a woman adjust to his sensitivities–she may be required to treat him as if he is the more tender or delicate of the pair, or as if his sensibilities are far greater than hers, which is likely contrary to her image of herself within a heterosexual relationship, since a greater softness and receptivity is usual for the anima dominant partner. (I believe the same sort of division of the energies occurs in same-sex relationships as well–remember, we’re talking energy, not genitals!)

On the other hand, her Venus could insist he put his wounds aside to honor some aspect of her role as a woman, or her financial or relationship expectations–again, not a happy interaction for either party. And if the Venus belongs to a man, and the Chiron to a woman, we may see a conflict between wounds on her part and his anima or his attitudes toward finances, relationships, or beauty. In this case it might manifest as a man who worships beauty who pairs with a woman who has a wound involving her looks; or, we could see a woman who never has ‘enough’ married to someone who does not want to spend assets the way she does.

If this aspect is within an individual’s chart, one’s own deep wounding may interfere with expression of one’s role as a woman (for a woman), with one’s anima and so in one’s relationships to women, and/ or possibly in sexual behaviors (for a man), with the possibility of dissonance in the concepts of Love, money, or both for either sex. This is a wound that is uncomfortable with Venusian concepts and requires them to change, to accommodate the injury, while it also suggests that one’s sense of Love, relationships, and assets/ money requires the wound to accommodate it–not an easy formula to work out.

Mars in Aquarius and anger

This is a very interesting topic, as those with Mars in Aquarius have the tendency to believe they don’t get mad, that they can handle aggression and ego urges through the intellect, and that the ego is highly inventive and original–and they are likely somewhat mistaken on all counts. Having such a basic physical and ‘I am’ urge in a sign that prides itself on its mental prowess can create a lot of confusion, and can make for some highly contradictory behavior, until the individual understands that she or he has a call to blend action with thought, to synchronize them for harmonious expression. Until this is clear, the urges often work at cross-purposes, prompting aggression dressed up as reasoned choice and a highly competitive ego that seeks to one-up others as a matter of being that’s not specific to any particular contest.Once successfully integrated Mars in Aquarius can make an excellent activist, may in any walk of life personify the ‘well-educated general’, and can be an intellectual leader who doesn’t dwell in the Ivory Tower but takes new and avant-garde ideas into the streets.

path of earth retrograde from Venus

I know that it takes time to learn basic astrological meanings and principles; I’m not faulting the individual on that, but it’s impossible to ask a cogent question without a true understanding of what you’re asking about. I expect someone seeking a specific answer to grasp the concept behind what they’re asking–otherwise the whole search makes no sense. Maybe it’s the phrase “retrograde from”, as this signifies (if we accept the syntax) that Earth is moving away from Venus–and of course, astrology is from our point of view here on Earth (though Heliocentric concepts place the observation point on the Sun, looking out from there–but that’s a whole other thing), so as we see it, Venus moves relative to us–Earth is never retrograde to an Earthling! Did this person want to know where and how Earth would travel if we were seeing it from Venus? I doubt it, but it’s possible. In the end, I really wasn’t sure what this person wanted to know; this search phrase only serves to emphasize how carefully we must state our astro questions–and that to ask about something without understanding what you’re saying amounts to nonsense.

Sagittarius fantasy art

Since Sagittarius is the sign of large animals, the first thing I thought of was My Little Pony dancing on a rainbow, or maybe a flying elephant, a la Dumbo. Certainly the person who conceived of Pegasus, the winged horse of myth, must’ve been a Sag–or maybe there’s no animal involved at all, maybe it would apply to long distance means of transportation (ocean liners, trains), religious icons or academic heroes (like Sagittarius Moon-Pisces Sun Albert Einstein), graphics that ‘get the word out’, perhaps in bubble-gum colors and Yellow Submarine graphics. Something like the movie ‘Avatar’, creation of Sagittarius Mars-probable Pisces Moon James Cameron, might fit the bill. Or were they looking for what fantasies would appeal to a Sag? Now I’m thinking a teacher-pupil scenario, or holy being and acolyte, or some fantasy of excess, in honor of ruler Jupiter. Hmmm.

moonlight effects on humans

If we are to believe what we are told about werewolves . . . that’s not really my area, so I’ll leave that to the experts. And of course there’s the idea that moonlight can affect us at a biological level, especially in terms of ovulation and human cycles, biorhythms . . . but again, not my field. Non-astrologically we can talk about romance, and maybe mystery. So what can we say astrologically about the effect of moonlight on humans? Perhaps that the phase of the Moon at birth suggests things about the emotional attitude and the approach to life, the way we process intuition and feeling. There’s also the idea of human response to whatever Moon phase is in effect day-to-day. Since the Moon symbolizes the movement of affairs forward, the passage of time and development of situations, it almost has the nature of a clock, one that affects mood and responsiveness, which certainly shows in the way the Void of Course Moon monkeys with new starts, commitment (essentially wiping it out), and predictability of outcomes (typically, not what is expected), and some mention the pull of the Full Moon as the time when things (and by that I mean people!) go crazy, as observed by emergency room personnel, and others, and . . . we’re back to werewolves.

astrology identity theft

This was a new and fascinating idea to me–can we ‘steal’ an identity, perhaps by giving out false birth info? I’ve certainly thought it of celebrities at times–Lance Armstrong is the perfect example of someone who has kept specific birth info locked down tight–and considering what he’s going through now, I can see why–and I’ve long observed that those who find astrology a powerful tool and who want, in some way, to hide will often be very unclear about birth data, especially the time (which is the easiest thing to ‘not know’). I know someone from China who gave me a down-to-the-minute birth time, but in doing her chart I discovered this was exactly two minutes into a new Chinese New Year–and had to wonder if the time had been fudged to avoid being born in what was considered by her culture of origin a less auspicious year. The ultimate astrology identity theft might just be finding the data of someone you admire (or whose life, luck, or attitude you want) and calling it your own–but thieves be warned, it always ‘seems’ wonky to the astrologer, as there are usually glaring inconsistencies among the chart, reported experience, and observed behavior–and in the end, it doesn’t give you the other person’s vibe–instead it just brings out the ‘sneaky factor’ in your own.

significant elf proclivities

This could mean a lot of things–are we talking Santa’s elves, or those tall graceful beings from ‘Lord of the Rings’? Was the person searching this phrase wondering about someone else, a friend who wears green all the time, builds toys, and whose favorite flavor is peppermint–and is this some kind of problem, an ‘elf problem’? It seems to me elf proclivities fall into two categories: the above green-wearing, cheerful, productive kind, and the gentle, intelligent,’we’re in charge here’, good-looking kind (LOTR)–so, your choice.

My blog is here and the Weekly publication by me that contains the full forecast, plus articles and more, is here, and available in several forms, including a daily email.

 

“Am I Wrong to be Jealous?”

Kirchner 1930 {{PD-Art}}

I am a 25 year-old male and I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a month. She asked me to be official on our second date and I said yes. She shows me lots of attention and meets me often but she loves talking to new people. She is always chatting with the pizza clerk or server, whether it’s a guy or girl. If it’s a guy she’s still smiling at him and talking to him in front of me. One time she gave the IHOP server a big tip and joked with him. She tells me we are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex. I told her that is fine as long as we had those friends already and we are platonic with them. She agreed but then she goes around talking to other guys.
She mentioned how when she goes by her friend Jenny’s house, her friend’s brother walks around in a tight speedo. She said he is a security guard. She was laughing and smiling.
We went to a gas station and the attendant was talking to both of us. I wasn’t getting a good vibe but my girlfriend loved to chat with him and kept smiling and talking to him. Then he told us “just drinks? buy more stuff! give me some business!” I just stood there but my girlfriend kept looking for other stuff. He said “take anything you want, honey” and she kept looking. She said, “you don’t have the gum I like”. I finally told the guy I was her boyfriend and she was with me. Later on I brought it up and she said I overreacted, that he was very nice, very friendly. She said he wasn’t flirting with her at all and she didn’t think anything of it. She said she doesn’t get flirted with often (and she sounded disappointed saying it).
She is so opposed to open relationships yet it seems like that is what she wants. Am I wrong to be jealous? Can you please explain her behavior?
Thanks in advance.

J

Hello J,

First, I want to commend you on the exceptionally mature approach you’re taking to the significance of your girlfriend’s behavior; not many guys, especially young guys, would lay out the situation in such an unbiased and thoughtful way.

I think the best way to address your question is to simply make a series of statements, my conclusions based on what you say. I’m immediately struck by how quickly your girlfriend wanted to be exclusive; sometimes this is a not-so-positive thing, as moving too fast can indicate someone who wants to pin you down, treating you more as a possession than an individual. But, you could just be a super-charming guy

Your assumption that people may only retain opposite sex friends that they knew before the relationship, however, is an unreasonable one. I’m sure that part of what attracted you to your girlfriend is her outgoing and open personality, and I understand that you may naturally worry that others will find this attractive, too–but to ask her to stop being who she is is to ask her to be other than the person you fell for–and that’s not right.

Now, to be fair, part of what she may like about you is the sense that all this bothers you; why else tell you about the friend’s brother and the tight Speedo? This suggests that there may be an element of sexual teasing in her nature that does not belong in a relationship; manipulating the feelings of one’s partner is not a kind or loving thing to do–that implies immaturity in the way she regards others, again treating you more like a plaything (to get a reaction from) than a person about whom she truly cares.

You seem like you are ready for a more committed relationship than this girl is capable of offering; you come across as a man who is looking to do the right thing by the person you’re involved with. And maybe that’s it: she sounds like a girl, playing with others’ emotions and creating sexual tension for a power-thrill, and what you need is a woman, who is ready to respect and care for you, a facet of which would be her willingness (within reason) to refrain from engaging in behavior that makes you uncomfortable.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying this relationship while it lasts, but I would not take it seriously; I would not let her see that any of her behavior bothers you, and I’m betting that, sooner rather than later, she will behave in such a way (outrageous flirting, letting you catch her with someone else, deliberately baiting you) that makes it obvious that what she wants from you is a jealous reaction, not a real relationship. At that point I hope you’ll see that she’s just too immature for you, and that you’ll move on to someone who treats you with more kindness. The world’s a big place with a lot going on in it; you’ll soon see that putting your energy into this type of interaction is a waste of your time.

Much good luck, J–

Julie

 

Sharing Power

You may stay lonely, unless you take a good look at yourself Rossetti 1868 {{PD-Art}}

Dear Julie,

Hi! I’ve been having a rough couple of three years. In the past few years, I’ve gone through a lot of pain surrounding my childhood and my fears pertaining to men and relationships have surfaced. I do not know how to control or manage my fears regarding men and sex. I can’t function properly on a daily basis as I am overwhelmed my fears, and afraid of my own thoughts.  If I were to read anything that remotely suggests sex, I begin to panic. I’m highly uncomfortable with people talking about sex, especially men. The ease with which women talk about sex escapes me. I’ve seen cases in which people disrespect their sex partners, and I use that as reason for me not to engage with anyone of the opposite sex. I’ve not had any serious relationships. Sometimes, I feel safe from hurt. Other times, I’m lonely but I remind myself nobody can hurt me this way. I have a push and pull dynamic in place when it comes to love matters. I want to experience love but the fear or abandonment and betrayal have me running. I have a deep-rooted fear someone using me, disrespecting me, and taking advantage of me.I have an unexplainable, and somewhat irrational fear of sex.

I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me figure things out or what exactly I am supposed to learn because I’m drawing a blank. I was born on dd/mm/yyyy at xxx in xxx. I understand if you are unable to do so, but thank you nonetheless for reading my email. Thank you very much.

S.

Hello S,

After studying your natal chart, I think I see a few possible explanations for your plight. First let me say that your straightforward and rational presentation of your case suggests to me that you are truly open to hearing about what may not be functioning at an optimal perceptual level for you–and that makes me more than willing to address your issues, and, hopefully, to help.

Since you use the word ‘fear’ repeatedly to describe your experience, I looked first at Saturn, our natural connection to reality and main signifier of both worldly ambitions and fears. Your Capricorn Saturn sits in the 7th House–right away we get hints that you may be projecting your own attitudes onto others–and is in a very interesting (and complex) aspect situation. Saturn’s companions in the 7th are Uranus, the Sun (ruler of childhood experiences 3rd), and Neptune, all, including Saturn, within a 10 degree spread, and so considered conjunct natally. But, there’s more! Saturn is also conjunct the Moon and Mercury (chart ruler) in Capricorn in the 8th, and Venus in Aquarius in the 8th (though Vesta in Aquarius sits just outside the max natal orb for a conjunction).

Just with this, we can see a few things: contained emotions (Saturn conjunct the Moon, Moon in Cap), a desire to approach relationship on an intellectual level (Venus in Aquarius), a weakness for delusion (Neptune), and a Ceres/ Jupiter conjunction in the 1st, just below the Ascendant, suggests a too-strong identification with the powerful goddess literally in charge of all nature (and I say “too-strong” as the exaggeration factor of Jupiter may point to a dominant Self-concept that leaves no room for a partner–Mother Nature has no spouse!)

Saturn also sextiles Juno and Pluto, opposes Earth and Chiron, quincunxes the South Node and trines Sedna–with this last aspect making it very difficult to see one’s own Saturn, and by extension, any of the ways Saturn interacts with the other energies (and at least potentially, Sedna will aspect some of the other players in the Saturn drama–this, plus Neptune’s involvement, is probably why you are “drawing a blank,” as you say in your letter, over the whole situation). All this active contact suggests that Saturn is a huge player in your life–yet may remain hidden (Sedna), not just from your consciousness, but from showing its importance via projection; in other words, all your Saturn issues, both positive and negative, may appear to originate, be caused by, or spring from others and/ or reality (another Saturn concept), thus it’s easy to convince yourself that there’s a good, solid reason why you react the way you do (even though you show keen Self-awareness as you state you know your fears are irrational).

This is such a complex chart (in terms of the contacts and interrelatedness of the various bodies) that I’m going to go straight for my interpretation, as outlining it would be an almost endless task. In general, I’d say there are two major components to your fear experience: one concerns repression of many many facets of your own Beingness, either from judging them to be ‘wrong’ in some fashion or from social rules, teachings, and traditions, and the other concerns your idea of personal power, and your extreme reluctance to open yourself to anything that might force you to compromise your own power position or to share your power with another.

Now I know many people do not really accept that they have any power at all; they point to modest life circumstances, to a subordinate social or work position, or to their own lack of interest at exerting their Will on others, and claim that power is not a relationship they have–but au contraire, this is a relationship each of us has, each and every hour of every day. To have no personal power is to be dead; if we are alive at all, we are still involved with expressing our Will, and exerting our influence, no matter how subdued this appears to be.

When we look at both the repression factor and the power factor simultaneously, what we see is someone who is holding very tightly to her own autonomy, who is, in fact, in a power struggle with a potential partner long before that partner arrives. You appear to associate relationships and all related aspects (such as sex) as presenting you with a totally unacceptable loss of power–but if one sees the sharing of power within relationship as something not allowable (and there is no way to be in a relationship without in some way letting another person share in your life energy, in your power) it’s a natural ‘next step’ to label this as ‘fear’–and indeed, it is a form of fear, the kind that arises when one is threatened by any suggestion that another could have an effect on your situation.

The repression aspect of things seems largely to be about rejecting certain parts of normal human nature because you so strongly judge these to be inferior inclinations, or ‘bad.’ This is likely from making strict internal judgments that view one as superior if one is not involved in passionate relationships, perhaps seeing others in these circumstances as weak or silly–and there may be some idea of marriage and sex as highly destructive forces–and so staying away from them may convey in the unconscious a strong feeling of superiority (this is suggested by several components of the chart, though the Juno/ Pluto conjunction in the 5th is alone enough to draw this conclusion) .

You do see the potential for positive man/ woman relationships, but this contrasts with some of your most serious and deeply held beliefs that marriage (or the idea of dedicating oneself to another) and sex (or the idea of union with, and therefore vulnerability to, another), are negative, which suggests two things: that you are not only resistant to being vulnerable to another (which is perfectly understandable–no woman should feel at the mercy of anyone else), but also that you are determined to keep all power for yourself, as there seems to be a deeply seated distrust of others, along with a deep desire to hold all the power cards–so it’s not just fear of vulnerability, but an actual desire to be powerful yourself (and I believe this isn’t an ego thing at all, but a holdover from past life experience, where you were a very powerful, and possibly ruthless, man–hence you project your own previous attitudes on partners and onto the entire idea of man/ woman interaction).

The chart implies you see it as your duty to accept a man and to marry (and this could be a big part of the problem, not wanting to surrender any power over yourself to societal expectations, much less an individual husband), but it also says you have an exaggerated need to feel you are already complete in the sense of not needing an external animus component in your life. When one couches one’s feelings in terms of uncontrollable fear, one is then, essentially, granting the Self permission to avoid all feared contact–for if this is an emotional reaction, rampant and undefined, what can anyone do?

This is not to discount truly legitimate wounds and fears that you carry, S, as these are apparent in the chart, too; it’s just that these are no more prominent than for anyone else. The important point is that you are allowing beliefs and behavior to be fueled by an unreasonable desire to command what is really a co-operative arrangement (and by that I mean, the natural ebb and flow of human interaction). The fears are exaggerated because in making them so large, and thus including the pretense that sex is such an alien and disturbing concept, you create the perfect scenario for excusing the need to ever allow another to share power (love) in your life.

There is hope for you, in that, if you can approach relationship from an autonomous, willing, and loving viewpoint, where you do not feel in any way coerced, pressured, obligated, and do not feel that a man’s sexual attention is an attention that takes your power from you, then you can engage quite happily in a relationship (and you’d be surprised, that many women feel quite vulnerable when a man shows sexual interest or attention, as it has a quality that can be truly frightening, a consuming quality that can certainly be felt as one that robs the female of something essential–and I think this is what you’re fixing on and responding to). Instead realize that this is simply an energy of sharing. Your biggest problem may be that, in trying to keep anyone from taking anything away from you, you’ve closed off your ability to receive something from another, as well–which is precisely the situation of the sex act, and any dynamic relationship.

You seem like a truly lovely person, intelligent and kind–I don’t think it’s that far a leap for you to exorcise the idea that you must call all the shots and hold all the power, and to invite a relationship of equals, a loving, gentle, and fulfilling interaction, into your life.

Best wishes, S,

jd

 

‘What You’re Asking: Bad Neptune, the Skinny on Synastry, and Gettin’ Busy with Aquarius and Pisces’

15th Century French from a Book of Hours

Here’s another tasty sampling of your searches:

I was fired Mercury Retrograde

I’m very sorry to hear this; losing a job is one of the most stressful experiences there is. I’m assuming you’re asking if it makes any difference that you were fired during the Mercury Retrograde–and my answer would be that it could. There are a number of possibilities: the boss could regret his or her actions; the firing could be illegal, incomplete, or in some way invalid; the paperwork to authorize or make official the firing could be lost, delayed, or improperly prepared, and so possibly negate the firing; you could have *gasp* misunderstood, and not be fired at all (admittedly, that’s unlikely); there could be a reversal of the decision, probably after Mercury’s direction; your firing could have been a simple mistake; or (and this is my favorite) you could discover something after Merc’s direction that means you’re glad to be out of there. The only thing we can be sure of is that all parties to the firing are probably ill-informed about some aspect of the circumstances or persons involved–and that opens the door on a vast number of potentials.

Do you want the job back? Or do you think this might be a blessing in disguise, either removing you from an undesirable environment or putting you on the path to something better? Answering these questions honestly will help you sort it out–and if you’d like to file an appeal or petition a higher-up to reconsider, do it now, before Mercury goes direct on April 23rd, when both you and your former employer may lose interest in reviewing your options with each other.

Are Pisces and Aquarius promiscuous?

The Fish and the Waterbearer are no more promiscuous than any other sign–though it does make me wonder that you’re asking about these two. Have you perhaps confused the spacey, dreamy, unengaged manner of Pisces in relationship for a lack of caring, or a wandering eye (or heart, or other body part)? And does Aquarius seem too cold and distant, appearing as if she or he couldn’t care less about a relationship with you? These assumptions are common mistakes people make when in a relationship with Pisces or Aquarius–those traits that seemed so attractive at first make us insecure and hurt when they are viewed up close, one-on-one. Don’t assume that just because Aquarius or Pisces doesn’t relate as you do that they’re fooling around; in fact, both are generally on the more dedicated end of the relationship spectrum, with Aquarius up for a quick encounter but taking the interaction very very seriously (think of Aquarius’ ancient ruler Saturn in this regard) and Pisces seeming to want to drift from love fest to love fest, but actually focused on finding the idealized ‘One’–so in either case, the cool or carefree exterior hides the true intent.

Nodes forming Mystic Rectangle synastry

This is an interesting cross-chart configuration, suggesting that each person may offer extraordinary support to the other on the life Path. This doesn’t necessarily mean, however, that you are destined to be together, or even in each other’s lives for long–this is a contact that says the two together, in whatever context, create an almost magically strong dynamic supporting the destined direction of life development for each of them–and this may not appear to be positive–that can be a love affair that doesn’t work out, one person in charge of the other and making major decisions, or a brief but important encounter like a car accident, as much as it might be finding the life partner and living happily ever after. The remainder of the chart contacts likely tell a complete interaction story.

September 23rd Soul/ slice of space-time September 23

I loved the approach of this person; she or he didn’t just want to know about someone born on that date, they wanted to know about the Soul of someone who would choose to enter this plane on that date–a big distinction, in my view. This seemed to me to be a sincere seeker, using google for the one kind of information it is least equipped to adequately supply. I wish this individual much luck in their search; the only thing I can suggest is to get off the computer and take a very long look at whomever they’re investigating, observing without personal biases or filters–a willingness to truly see the individual might best reveal the Soul within. And if I could get my hands on a slice of space-time, I’d serve it right up.

Why is Neptune so bad in astrology?

Neptune is not bad! Like every other energy, Neptune represents some impulses that we find less-than-desirable–but in no way does Neptune force this expression on us–we must be susceptible, too willing to believe the lie or the illusion, too easily deceived or willing to deceive, too quick to abdicate responsibility to confusion or ineptitude. These are all ways we interpret the energy, not the energy itself. The way we choose to respond and deal with Neptunian (or any) energies tells us where our strengths (in this case, creativity, the ability to dream, the sense of compassion and Oneness) and our weaknesses may lie. So, an energy shows us our talents and faults, rather than imposing them on us.

the skinny on synastry

In my view, synastry (the meaningful interpretation of contact between placements of the natal charts of two individuals) is an extremely accurate way to gauge the possible success of a relationship. The interaction is laid out in very direct terms, with conjunctions typically figuring as the strongest interaction facets of the relationship. A skilled astrologer can outline the possibilities for you–it’s really not a DIY kind of reading, as it’s relatively complex. But, my book, THE ASTROLOGY OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP provides not just explanations, but questions in a workbook format that you and your SO can use to better understand your needs and motivations in relationships–so, it’s the next best thing to a synthesis of the two charts by an experienced astrologer.

How is Saturn butterfly born?

With a lot of hard work and persistence, probably from a concrete cocoon–but oh, what a sturdy butterfly that would be!

born with Aries Point on the Ascendant/ Descendant axis

If the Aries Point touches the Ascendant by conjunction, you might be the kind of person who seems to instigate a great many things–a kind of magnetic personality that serves to launch, to borrow a phrase, a thousand ships. If the Aries Point rests on the Descendant, it might be a matter of events and action swirling around you–the calm eye of the storm. This could also indicate exceptional talents at manifesting or creating, with the placement of Mars providing hints as to the arena (by House) and nature (by sign) of the abilities.

astrological irritability

Somehow I don’t think it’s astrology that causes irritability

 

Are You In a Toxic Relationship?

H. Bosch {{PD-Art}}

Excellent assistance in helping you realize whether you’re in an abusive relationship from Drs. Tracy Latz and Marion Ross here

 

Telling It Like It Is

'The Bride' Brown 1869 {{PD-Art}}

In my experience, this article encapsulates the reasons 99 percent of people who want to be married aren’t–with the sole problem typically being not a lack of awareness but a lack of willingness–to see oneself clearly, to be open to change, to be flexible in what one requires. Thanks to Rae Indigo for sharing this on facebook.

 

On Energy Vampires

From Le Fanu's vampire story 1872

Some excellent advice, from Dr. Judith Orloff on energy vampires

 

‘What You’re Asking’: Pluto’s Soft Spot

Queries seem to have a Plutonian theme right now, even when they aren’t directly about Pluto. We tend to think of Pluto as massively destructive, ‘spiritually muscular,’ in a way, and we tend to see ourselves at his mercy; this is not only inaccurate, it can invite those destructive forces into our lives, as our exaggerated image of our own helplessness begs Pluto to assert himself and fill the gap. The key to dealing with the lord of the Underworld is to own a little piece of him as your own; to embrace your own darkness is to embrace the human condition, and in taking ownership of all the possibilities of your nature, you also take control of them.

Pluto vulnerability sexual

We may not think of Pluto as vulnerable, especially sexually, but think about this: when we are in our most intense relationships, when our attention is absorbed to the point of obsession, we are incredibly weak in a number of ways. We are prone, in this state, to neglect our surroundings, to ignore or short-change other interactions, to in fact neglect everything other than our beloved–and that means that things can happen around us, there can be changes, that endanger ourselves and our situation. Then there’s the way that a passionate singular attention makes us vulnerable to that thing we’re obsessing over–this takes all our energy, and so if the thing with which we have this passionate relationship changes, or, Pluto forbid! withdraws from the interaction, our entire world will be transformed, perhaps destroyed–and who does that sound like? Yes, it sounds like Pluto. Then apply these ideas to a situation that involves sex–and you can see how Pluto can be the most vulnerable energy of all. Passion, depth, and intensity in relating make us open to their loss–and it’s really our openness to discovery, to the overwhelming sensation of an all-encompassing relationship, that gives us the Plutonian experience, as well as the potential for its end. Many of us do not allow the Plutonian energy in our lives, then wonder why the marriage or job or relationship or vocation or support system collapses, sucked away from us without our consent; too often it’s because we disown this intensity, believing we can control overtly (and this belief is Plutonian, so in reality we recognize the need for Pluto, but are accepting it in truly destructive ways). When overt control of someone or something is the only Plutonian lens allowed, we will meet his transformative and destructive side–no two ways about it.

When someone’s Moon falls in your 8th

This contact will prompt the House person to see the emotional and intuitive spectrum of the other person as something that person should share. Depending on what kind of ‘wrapper’ this comes in (is the Moon individual a handsome man just your age, a little girl, your hairdresser, a stranger?) the House person will dress up the feeling to fit the bill. One can superimpose meaning on this placement, but one thing is sure: the House person will see that most intimate faculty of the Moon individual as a mutual asset–but what the Moon person sees is only available through their chart, so we really can’t know how they’ll respond. It’s a safe bet, though, that if we are the Moon person, and are approached by someone who does not seem to recognize our emotional boundaries, before we’ve established a good and trusting relationship, then the whole interaction with this cross-chart contact can go south very very quickly.

Pluto bad vibe for Capricorns

There’s no such thing as a blanket ‘bad vibe’ for a single sign; what some will interpret as bad is really a challenge to those with significant, early Cap natal placements: be honest about these energies, or suffer the consequences. As Pluto moves on through Capricorn, so will this challenge, allowing about a 2-3 degree orb of influence either side of exact. Remember, Pluto only destroys what is outmoded, of no use, already dead, or in need of deep change–everything else it can make powerful or lift to its ultimate expression. The thing about Pluto is it brings all our bullshit and those things we’re in denial about to the surface–if you don’t embrace any of that, it’s an uplifting contact, even when it seems to be otherwise.

astrology of butterfly

If I had to name a ‘butterfly aspect,’ I would say it’s Mercury in aspect to Pluto, or vice versa by transit, Secondary Progression, or Solar Arc. The symbolisms are so obvious I won’t go over them–let’s just say there’s beauty in this combination, once one breaks out of the cocoon of pre-conceptions and worn-out ideas.

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Hope, and Looking for Answers With Astrology

Though this site mainly exists to address the problems that come with our most intimate, mating relationships, I don’t think it hurts to look at other relationships, too–in this case, professional ones (or at least, potential professional ones). What brought this to mind was seeing several articles recently on the use of social media to promote business and ‘brand’ your company. This isn’t a new idea, by any means, but at this point we can all be thankful that the spam mentality is almost a thing of the past. It’s been replaced by a more thoughtful and targeted approach–but my story takes us back to the time when the main marketing tool was found in contacting someone directly by email, often with a proposal that was touted as having mutual benefit for both parties. We’ve all received these–this is a bit of reflection on how one in particular came across.

In this instance, a woman contacted me hoping to barter her skills for my astrological ones. I don’t often barter, not because I have anything against it, but because consistently in my experience, those who have offered me their skills were not offering anything I could use. I’m not judging the worth of what they could do, I’m only saying it wasn’t of use to me–but with this one woman, I found her behavior Self-defeating in so many ways. Barter or cash, she was unlikely to get what she wanted.

We’ll call her ‘Hope.’ Hope contacted me because she was puzzled as to why she was unable to make any money with her consulting business–and of course the first and most obvious thing is, if one will not pay others for their services, how does one expect to be paid for one’s own? She explained that her business was offering others advice on how to best use their skills, rev up their lives, and make money doing what they loved. Do you see the red flag here? Hope was trying to sell a skill she didn’t have, otherwise she’d be doing it for herself! (The Chirotic skills are the exception to this rule, but these are seldom the main component of the vocation).

I declined Hope’s offer, but did say I’d be glad to look at her chart gratis and talk with her about what wasn’t working for her and how she could fix it. She was upset when I declined her services; she went on at length about how I was missing a huge opportunity to grow my business, claiming that she could totally re-vamp my operation and bring me so much more of what I wanted.

The difficulty with her promise was this: she had never once asked me what my objectives were, had not asked what I hoped to accomplish, had not asked if I was happy with the way things were going, just slapped me with a promise that she had skills I surely wanted–and the irony of offering me something she didn’t have was totally lost on her. It seemed she was intent on persuading me of what she could do; she was really unconcerned with whether she could actually effectively deliver this.

When I looked at Hope’s chart, what I saw was that her skills lay in a completely different direction. When I spoke with her I told her where I saw her strengths, what her unique attributes were, and how they could be best utilized; it turned out she really didn’t care, didn’t want to know why things weren’t working–she wanted to be told how to make what she’d chosen work, instead.  Acknowledging her skills (and thus her path) violated the image of herself she wanted to have–she was enamored of herself playing the role of The Success Coach, and she didn’t care that this really wasn’t something she could do well–she had already taken the mantle and dammit she was going to wear it!

In checking out her site, where she had urged me to look around and see all the testimonies from happy clients, I found a handful of endorsements that spoke of her enthusiasm, and the way she was able to really (I don’t know how else to say this) work clients up into a frenzy of excitement without giving them any real way to implement their goals. It was a pep talk without a game plan for the scrimmage. And there was no way Hope was going to let go of her image-fantasy. Every once in a while I check in on Hope’s site, to see how things are going, and it appears precisely as it was about 5 years ago, when we first met, with the same schtick, promises, vague testimonials, and same stable of individuals (for she had recruited others, and had offered me a spot in the line-up) looking to sell their wares.

I wish Hope well; at the same time, I wish Hope would wake up. The situation she’s chosen is one I see people in frequently enough: they choose an image for themselves that is so far removed from their Soul’s choices that they are struggling to make it work in everyday life. Of course, only they can be the judge of whether their choices are working for them–but when someone is reaching out for help, it’s important that at the very least they acknowledge that what they’re doing isn’t working.

Astrology and all it can tell us about ourselves is worth nothing if we are unwilling to question our own assumptions about ourselves and our Path. And in seeking out others, whether in close personal relationship or in a business one, we will inevitably surround ourselves with others who are operating at the same ‘honesty level’ as we are–so we see in our companions both our own positives and our own weaknesses, however distorted or differently-directed they may be in our own manifestation of them. Seeing where we are is the first step in both taking control of our own life path and in making astrology work for us as fully and completely as it can–what else would be the point of it, besides making our lives better, after all?

 

Your Relationship Power Balance

A lot of us don’t think about our relationships in terms of power; we like to believe it’s all about romantic attraction, that exciting and mysterious energy that envelopes two people and has what feels like a magnetic quality. That’s the romance part, I think, that it seems we aren’t doing anything to make this electrical charge that creates a field around ourselves and our partner, a field that leaps to life just at the awareness that our special someone is near–so it’s easy to see why we approach partnership as if it’s almost magical (with the more serious-minded among us giving it the scientific-y sounding designation ‘chemistry’). But what underlies this almost supernatural-seeming connection is a real relationship between two individuals–and that means that all that electricity generated by the romance of sexual attraction is involved in a ‘power negotiation’ of major proportions.

So when the amps on the relationship go down, and you start to settle into a real engagement with the partner, blending the time and choices of your individual lives into one, where do you find the power chips falling? Whether you realize it or not, the entire time, from the first ‘hello,’ the two of you have been working out the power parameters of your interaction; who is allowed to do what, express what, show what, be what, have all been worked out. It’s almost like waking up in a fully-formed situation that you only begin to discover as the sheen of romance gives way to the microscopic clarity of every day life. Often, it feels like someone else came up with the arrangement–you find yourself wondering how it was decided that he can do whatever he wants, disappearing for hours (or days) at a time, while you must let him know every detail of your schedule, or you can’t figure out how she moved in, rent free, but still expects you to take her out on a date every night and pay all the bills–and she doesn’t see the need to pitch in with the chores at all, declaring that since it’s your house, you should do it all! These situations can develop almost without our realizing, and the details can come as quite a shock when we see just how things shaped up.

In the natal chart, the location, placement, and interaction with the mate’s natal chart of the asteroid Juno can be extremely telling of the power balance that will exist within a relationship. For the female, Juno is the symbol of her own Self-empowerment–but it’s a long journey from Juno’s initial attempts to gain influence through relationships, exercise of authority, and status to the point of transpersonal expression, wherein Juno is motivated by her own internal strength and need to express. For a man, Juno tells us about who he wants to partner with, both personally and professionally, and its aspects can tell us a great deal about how he feels concerning women in general, and those with power specifically.

For instance, a man’s Juno conjunct a woman’s Venus gives us this: from his viewpoint, partnering with her would be like partnering with love, while from her viewpoint he would seem to have an ideal attitude toward interdependent relationships. Does this indicate she’s his ideal woman? No, his ideal woman is shown by his Venus sign and placement–but, if the Juno/ Venus conjunction is in Virgo, and his Venus is in Capricorn, they might be compatible, as both are in Earth, showing a strong affinity, or if his Sun and/ or Mars are positively aspected to her Venus, this might also show harmony. His expectations for a mate coincide precisely with her values and aesthetics–he would see her as quite appealing, at least in those areas, and she might be financially appealing, as well, perhaps bringing her own means of earning into the relationship, or promising to be low or high maintenance, which meshes with the way he believes a woman should behave. For her, he presents with the conjunction as a very promising candidate for ‘mate’ status–but we’d also have to look at the rest of the chart interaction to see how well she and her empowerment needs would be supported. For example, if his Juno (and of course her Venus) was square her Moon, this suggests that he might not find her emotional needs appropriate for a mate–and she might not, either, since there is disparity in her natal Moon/ Venus square–and that means she may be prone to disregard her own emotional needs in order to make the relationship work. So, in some of these scenarios he would have a definite ‘power advantage,’ while in others she would fare much better–in the end it all depends on the totality of the relationship interaction.

Relationships are complicated things, not easily dissected, and certainly not adequately summed up in a few astrological measurements. Find out more here on Juno, empowerment, and the impact on relationships http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com/ or about relationships in all their glory here http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com/ scroll down to the second blurb