Dating During Venus Retrograde

Hi, Julie,

This new blog is a great idea – inspiring and informational!

My question has to do with Venus Retrograde:

Living with mourning since the passing of a sweet soul last spring, it actually seemed like something in me began to move and open around the eclipses, suddenly the thought of looking for love again entered my mind. I have already gotten very useful information from your Venus Retrograde & Eclipse Reports, but one thing keeps puzzling me: What about dating during Venus Retrograde? This deep opening to all things Venusian (Venus crossing the IC) makes me want to open to possibilities, but the more I read about this godess in backwards mode (books and internet), the more I doubt my own impulses to open to love & the world again at this time. Is this ’just Spring Fever’ or me going backwards at life & love?

I look forward to your insights on this, as I hope you will consider my question – I don’t think I’m the only one wondering…;-)

All the best,


Hi Ms P,

 Thank you! And you ask an excellent question!  I’m sure you’re right, many would like to know the prospects for romance and relationship specific to Venus retro. When considering the dating picture, I think there may be two things to evaluate: one, where were you, dating and romance-wise, eight years ago when Venus retrograded in the same spot in your natal chart? It’s an important question, as you’ll meet the same issues in a new form. If relationships weren’t on the agenda eight years ago, chances are they won’t be again at this time, either, which suggests that other Venusian topics (finances and earnings, the values picture, feelings/ intuition/ sensitivity, talents, reward) will be. In that case, you just won’t be paying attention to relationships and dating for the retro period. hearts_in_the_sand_002

But, if relationships were the focus eight years ago, then they very likely will be again. Preparation for the retrograde involves an honest inspection of the concerns apparent eight years ago, and how the circumstances, situations, standards, and desires have evolved from that point to now. If you dealt with an unfaithful paramour at this time eight years ago, for example, your experience this time around may echo that one, with betrayal once again on the menu, or the period may bring the revelation that you have now established an intimate relationship that supports you–and you’ll be able to put the issue of unfaithfulness (and all the Self-doubt and questioning it brings forward) to rest.

The second consideration is, how well do you know what you want in life? Yes, you can get back to dating and relationships during the retro, if you’ve been away from them; but with the aesthetic, personal values, and taste changes that come during the retro (and flee afterward) we can find ourselves embroiled in something we don’t really want, that isn’t true to our innate nature, once Venus goes direct, so caution in terms of commitment and irrevocable (or difficult to correct) acts (sex and what this can expose us to, impulsive marriage, buying a condo together) is in order.

You make a good point, Ms P, when you speak of the “deep opening” to Venus energies that can be experienced at this time; and certainly, a profound opening to love is possible. With close attention to your inherent Venus nature, and flexibility in terms of entanglements and commitments, there’s no reason why the retrograde period can’t be a wonderful re-introduction to the pleasures and rituals of dating, as well as a return of romance to the life.

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4 thoughts on “Dating During Venus Retrograde

  1. Pernille Vagtholm March 7, 2009 / 6:37 am

    Thank you for your very thorough answer. Food for thought!

    It is very useful to get more nuances in the Venus Retrograde picture. ’Sit tight, waiting for it to go away’ is not my idea of living life fully awake.

    It seems I have been in ’retrograde mode’ since the middle of January, meditating, reflecting, reevaluating what it is that I need & want in this Goddess’ areas, and already with some very eye-opening realizations. It is very clear to me that this is a process that has just begun, and I wouldn’t dream of committing myself firmly to anything or anyone at this point. It is more of an experimental, explorative mood I am in, very aware of my need to take everything VERY slowly.

    I am surprised though, at how tricky I find it to compare my life from eight years ago with my life today. It seems to me like to different worlds ! – And certainly with issues I wouldn’t want to repete… but wanting to only look forward would probably be missing the point…;-)

    Doing my best to keep eyes & heart open
    Thank you again,

  2. Holly April 19, 2009 / 7:55 pm

    Hello, I began a relationship literally a few days before venus went retrograde…and I really worried that it wasn’t a good decision. There are strong feelings…but they sort of wax and wane. Is it safe to assume a relationship isn’t what I need if it developed during this phase?

    • juliedemboski April 20, 2009 / 6:36 am

      Hello Holly,

      No, we can’t assume that a relationship isn’t in one’s best interests because it developed during the retrograde–though you may have entered the relationship because your tastes were atypical, spurred by the retro idea of trying something different. You use the word ‘worried,’ speak of feelings as strong but also describe them as waxing and waning–and it’s only been about 6 weeks–so I think you should pay close attention to your intuition, as it’s clearly trying to tell you something.

  3. casey September 4, 2010 / 6:05 pm

    worried about this venus in scorpio retro. it is likely to aspect my birth chart has both neptune & venus in scorpio in the 8th house! my poor little cancer moon sits @ the bottom of the chart get squished by big capricorn saturn on top. I’m preparing to look for a new job during this mercury retro. doesn’t give me much time to find work, worried the retro venus scorpio will slow down my chances for new income!- and my love life has always been very unluckly-doomed, so I never really hope in that area. thanks for the warning.

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