Men, men everywhere . . .

Hi Julie and thank you so much for this great new site!
I still wonder what my barrier is since sharing with a man has always meant so much to me and yet I have, so far, always been disappointed. With ruler Mercury conjunct Sun in 6, opposed Pluto in 12, square Mars in 9 and Jupiter/Ceres in 3, I guess things won’t be easy with, on top of that, Venus in 7 Pisces square Moon. But Venus rules my Libra North Node and I have always hoped to share with a man, working hard on being more open and at the same time less prone to disillusion. Is that mission impossible? I haven’t had a relationship for a few years and I thought something would turn up with transiting Uranus on my DS/Venus but nothing seems to be happening!


Dear k,

You’re welcome, and thank you!

Love and partnership really are everything to you, aren’t they? With Venus in Pisces in 7th at the Descendant, and linked to the second (Self-worth, assets) and 9th (almost a religion!) through rulership, ‘ideal love’ seems as if it would be a real goal. Let’s look at Venus’ condition, as this should tell us how well the ideal love relates to the real world, and to real men.

As you note, Venus is square the Moon in Gemini, suggesting that the way you see yourself as a woman conflicts in some way with the emotional picture–this is often the case when we are given the emotional message when young that our ‘ideal Self’ as a woman is somehow inappropriate–in this case, that your idealism and openness to others may have been impractical and left you open to gossip or damage to the reputation (Gemini). Venus also sesquiquadrates Neptune, saying that your life ideals may need constant readjustment to your aesthetic ones, your relationships, and your values, and a trine of Venus to Ceres says your are strongly elemental in character, in tune with nature and able to negotiate for what you want. A square to the Midheaven plus the Neptune contact, though, says that it’s difficult for others to see your Venusian Self–and with Venus placed in the 7th, you may be prone to project the beauty and love that are rightfully yours. Further, since Venus doesn’t aspect any animus related energies in the chart, you may not really know how to connect to men in general–that can be taken care of by embracing your own Sun (in Aquarius) and seeking companionship through intellectual or avant garde channels, through the creative and the educated. And then you can tackle bringing Venus forward.

I think this might be a lifelong case of poor advertising, k–you must work at showing your Venus, at presenting this to those with whom you interact. The emotional dissonance between Moon and Venus , and between Venus and her ruler, Neptune, says that you must make your desires and values conscious, and your emotional awareness will help serve to resolve the conflict–as it is you likely come across to others as having some emotional Self-dislike, and a lack of sureness about who you are as a woman and what you want. With Venus ruling your North Node (Libra), partnership should be present, once Venus has been elevated in the life, and once you’ve accepted and donned your most authentic ‘Venus Self.’

Best of luck, k! 

Hi Julie,

I was seeing this guy M  and for the first few weeks all was great and we were happy although not everything was blissful. I was willing to give it time but in between just getting closer and planning the next few weeks together there were job cuts at his work and he became very cold and distant with me. Two weeks later he said that he wasn’t in the right frame of mind for a relationship. During our last two weeks he seemed angry and very distant, with a real lack of communication. Our communication hadn’t been great to begin with but I was hoping that it would improve.

My question is about whether he was one more step in my pattern of commitment-phobic choices of men, or if he was a potential partner. He messaged me last night and I haven’t been able to get over him yet so I thought I would ask in case there is any help out there.

many thanks, J

Hello J,

You wear your heart on your sleeve, in a way, by thinking yourself in a relationship long before one really exists (Aquarius Moon in 1st). You are a strong woman, more than many men can handle (Venus/ Pallas exact conjunct in Scorpio). Your best bet is to get to know someone in a casual setting, pre-dating and its pressures, and make a point of exchanging ideas to see if you get along in the first place (Gemini ideal shown by opposition to your Sag Juno). Sounds like you’ve been leaping a little too quickly for Leonine types (your Mars in Leo) but that presents its own problems, as it’s hard to get someone with a strong Mars/ Leo orientation (and this can be anyone with ego/ Sun/ Self issues prominent) to look away from the mirror long enough to look at you! Your taste for trophy-types may make you grab for the prize before you know what’s really in the package. Temper your interactions with time, don’t jump in so quickly, and like yourself enough to demand he show a little more regard for you right off the bat–you need to give him time to discover your depths, and you need to take time in order to discover whether you want to spend your time on him at all!

As to M, there’s strong sexual interest (like you need me to tell you that!) and long-term possibilities, but take it very slow–there are also suggestions of volatility and financial/ material vulnerability on your part–don’t, under any circumstances, lend him money!

Good luck, J!

One thought on “Men, men everywhere . . .

  1. katia April 8, 2009 / 2:06 am

    Dear Julie,

    I truly appreciate your real help and true insights.
    May you be blessed for your selfless generosity.


    Thank you very much, K

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