Some of the most enticing things in a relationship are the things we don’t know; by that I mean, we’re aware that there are depths, kinks, hidden proclivities, secret appetites, or just plain secrets, and in part it’s the potential for discovery of these that fuels that initial, electric attraction. The tingle isn’t about what you do know, it’s about what you don’t know, but can sense, and that’s the influence of Pluto.
Pluto itself moves so slowly that talking about it by House is it’s most distinguishing characteristic among generations, but in personal relationship, it’s an individual’s Pluto contacts, the other energies of the chart that are asserting themselves toward the ‘heaviest’ energy we know, that describe those hidden and exciting quirks, often sexual ones, that can make or break an intimate relationship. THESE POSSIBLE ASPECT MEANINGS ARE WITHIN AN INDIVIDUAL CHART, NOT BETWEEN CHARTS.
Pluto and the Sun–if your partner has a Sun/ Pluto contact, hold on: discovering this Soul could be one exciting (even frightening) ride. There is a depth and intensity to this contact that calls for a hardy mate who can weather anything from the extremely possessive to the scarily Self-destructive; you might even witness the total transformation of your mate. Be ready for a dark side to this Sun, but also look for an amazing capacity for resilience and a true understanding of (and ability to guide you through) the worst life has to offer. This can also be a strongly magnetic contact, with an ever-present undercurrent of sexuality, power, and the possibility of change. Tastes can run the exotic gamut; anything kinky this person shares will be a serious need, and likely non-negotiable.
Pluto with the Moon–this can signal an individual who may have a very tender emotional state, one that could stem from an upsetting past, or from secrets or things they prefer remain hidden, including vulnerabilities and sexual tastes. Be gentle with this person, and don’t probe too deeply; they’ll open up when they feel safe. You must also be prepared for the possibility that this person may have developed a taste for punishment or the macabre; this can be the poster child for someone who has confused almost anything else with love. Once the emotions have been thoroughly processed and regenerated, this individual can be highly perceptive, and makes an excellent counselor, formal or informal, and they also become exceptionally understanding of the wounds and darker needs of others. Probably the toughest position of all the Pluto contacts, that once dealt with can bring tremendous benefit and growth.
Pluto with Mercury–this person may see words as weapons, and certainly will see them as being expressions of power. They can be powerful communicators themselves, and, whether they’re conscious of it or not, are always looking for the hidden meaning, or the power play, that they’re sure is somewhere between the lines. This can make for some upset as they truly don’t believe, as the saying goes, that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. The good news is that once they trust you, they hold nothing back–real intimacy is possible. The bad news is that there could be a great many times when what you thought was an innocent remark will be taken by the Merc/ Pluto person as anything but. Clear communication void of even the most innocent manipulation is the only way to interact; and if you listen with care, all the quirks, peccadilloes, and preferences of this person will be told you, one way or another, so the mystery lasts only as long as you pretend you can’t read the messages your partner sends.
Pluto with Venus–volumes about the doomed love nature ‘earned’ by these individuals have been written, and most of it is short-sighted or just plain wrong (yes, I said it, wrong!) These people are not fated to suffer in love, to lose a great love, to act destructively or cruelly until they ‘learn’ some karmic lesson, or to be crushed tragically in a once-in-a-lifetime relationship–they are required to transform their concept of what love is, and the necessity of this suggests that there is something in the love nature and attitude toward relationship that is either destructive (likely unconsciously so–and this is very often some attitude or belief learned in the early environment that doesn’t foster a genuinely loving interaction dynamic according to this Soul’s standards) or that doesn’t in the largest sense serve the current Soul (Sun) focus and life direction. I have often observed this contact as an intense love affair that seems fated yet doesn’t work out, and the apparent reason for the Venus-Pluto one of the pair is 1) to change their attitude toward love and partnership; the experience often gives them an acute appreciation for genuine, healthy love, and 2) to allow them to go on to a life with another partner, who offers not only a more evolved kind of relationship but also a very different life than the individual would’ve experienced with the ‘big love’ partner. So, the question becomes, are you the ‘big, changing love’ mate, the ‘evolved and settled down with’ mate, or someone in between? Aside from all this, this can also signal someone who goes for S/M or more exotic sexual practices, who expects love to hurt, somehow, who sees relationships (or money) as digging deep and bringing out the most intense (and sometimes the worst) feelings, who anticipates all relationships as power struggles, and/ or who finds relationship (or money) frightening, and so avoids it.
Pluto with Mars— suggests an intense sex drive, in either sex, and when in a man’s chart ties the ideal of who he is as a man (Mars) to the transformative or destructive energy of Pluto, and so implies that he may put a huge stake in his own potency, and/ or in the idea of sex as a vehicle for change, re-birth, in some sense, or transformative to relationship. In either sex this can say they like it ‘rough’ (though of course that term itself has a whole spectrum of meanings and lengths). With men or women this can also suggest they see sex as fundamentally affecting the ego or sense of Self–and depending on the state of Mars overall, as well as the Sun, this can go anywhere from a feeling that sex is regenerative to the idea that sex will destroy the identity–so can bring forward commensurate upset, anger, denial, and avoidance. Is this an aspect of rape? Perhaps, though we can never reduce such a complex mixture of choices, influences, and decisions to act to a single (or even several) aspects in the natal chart. This contact only gives an energy that could, under particular circumstances, manifest in this way, and we shouldn’t forget that ‘energy rape,’ an aggressive attitude, can cause as much (though different) damage as physical violation–and as well we must note the extreme strength and resilience this aspect gives, which can also be mustered in service of the positive–an aspect that can almost literally allow the individual to ‘move mountains.’
Aspects outside the personal planets carry less potential to manifest on a unique individual level within the personality, but we can mention a few possibilities in terms of the sex life:
Pluto with Jupiter–sex in public! or a sex life that mirrors social fashion, such as the ‘free love’ of the 60s, or the ‘Just say ‘No” abstinence of the 80s; or a ‘notches on the bedpost’ mentality, or ‘more is better’ with quantity over quality
Pluto with Saturn–a taste for older partners (or a ‘Daddy’ figure), celibacy, or sex on a schedule or by certain rules (“Missionary only, please!”)
Pluto with Uranus–sex must be unique, revolutionary, avant garde, or can become totally academic (a new position from the ‘Kama Sutra’ every night)
Pluto with Neptune– sexual fantasy or role playing, or sex dressed-up, or drugged-up
And with the asteroids:
Pluto with Vesta–can make any Plutonian proclivities sacred–so if you don’t share these tastes, it can be tough
Pluto with Ceres–sex out in nature can be a big turn-on, as can sex under dangerous weather conditions (during a lightning storm, at sea during a squall, while hiding in the tornado shelter) Authority play might come into it, with one person playing a dominator/ dominatrix role or playing ‘Mother’–or, sex may be only for procreation
Pluto with Juno–power struggles may spark sex, and there may be a taste for repeated infidelities, ‘punishment,’ and make-up sex
Pluto with Pallas–again with power as a turn-on, though this may be where skills or business dealings are aphrodisiacs, or this individual could look for a mentor/ counselor or teacher/ student relationship to turn lusty
Pluto with Chiron–Oww! This combo may be highly transformative and healing, or highly destructive, and likely some of each, perhaps with the circumstances for healing arising from the ashes–how this plays out in the sex life is anybody’s guess! and highly dependent on the Chirotic relationship with the partner