What You’re Asking: Asteroids and Social Skills

special powers psyche goddess has

I’m surprised Yoda wasn’t able to answer this (get it? the word order is oh *sigh* never mind just a sad attempt at a joke!) When Zeus found in Psyche’s favor (see the full account of Psyche, Eros, and Venus in ‘The Astrology of Intimate Relationship’ available here http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com or in the original article here https://askjulie.wordpress.com/venus-and-psyche/) he awarded the mortal freshly minted as goddess a portion of Venus’ realm. The story of what happened between Venus and Psyche suggests that Psyche’s placement and aspects may show our attitude toward committed love, in the form of one’s struggle to love and be loved without impediment, as well as showing particular relationships with/ to females that could involve jealousy and competition. It also represents on a personal level one’s potential to be born to a new, more powerful life, related in the story to her revival by Eros and the conveyance of the status of goddess by Zeus. I think Psyche in the natal chart must be read in conjunction with Venus–the relationship between the two, once you know the story of their interaction, will tell you a great deal about the chart individual’s attitudes toward love and relationship, and for females, is especially descriptive of patterns of interaction they may encounter with other females. The only special powers Psyche has are ones available to all of us: persistence, curiosity, intuitive openness and willingness to follow the prompts of the Universe, and the power that comes with loving another.

Ceres synastry

Ceres is goddess of Nature, an entity equivalent to Mother Earth, and having such a maternal vibe can wreak havoc in a romantic relationship (contact can, of course, be a huge plus between a parent and child, nurse/ physician/ health care provider and patient, or in friendships or any relationship where some caretaking, one person of the other, may be welcome or in order). It’s in romance where Ceres can act as the ultimate desire-killer, particularly when a woman’s Ceres contacts something identity-oriented of a man’s–Sun, Mars, Ascendant ruler, Sun ruler, Midheaven. Then we may see the male perceive the female as trying to mother him, and this can be no matter what her real actions are–the Ceres energy becomes an overlay to the perceptual lens–she can’t help but seem motherly to him, as he will look for and identify those attitudes and behaviors on his own! The other main effect of any Ceres contact is that it shows where and how the Ceres individual may be inclined to negotiate with the other person. For instance, a man’s Ceres conjunct a woman’s Sun, Moon, or Venus may involve him trying to influence her identity, particularly in a way that promotes what he sees as ‘natural.’ He may try to apply his ideas of standards of beauty as expressed through the sign placement of the conjunction, or those that relate to his own Moon or Venus placements. He may also try to negotiate for her to carry a portion of his anima. Or, for example, with a woman’s Ceres conjunct a man’s Pluto, we see the classic negotiation situation between two powerful Beings; in this case, it’s likely the relationship will feature a constant jockeying for power and position–but this isn’t necessarily bad–for some, it can be a stimulating and enjoyable contact, along the lines of playful sparring.

how to prevent clinginess

Dryer sheets, and healthy Self-esteem. Nothing is more attractive than not being needy and clinging in the presence of your SO. When tempted to make like a sweet pea vine, remind yourself that a good relationship doesn’t ask you to debase yourself, or require you to beg for attention, and certainly doesn’t involve a mistrust of your partner that makes you demand to know her or his every move. Love yourself enough not to accept clinginess as part of your relationship repertoire, and then do something with your energy, mind, and time–any guy worth a **** will show up on a regular basis and give you no reason to feel insecure.

astrologically better than me

There is no such thing, and that goes for each and every one of us.

How to improve the social skills of a Cancer?

Ouch! Though Cancers can be some of the most kind, nurturing, and genuinely caring individuals around, they do have a tiny social blind spot: they often don’t seem to recognize that not everyone feels nurtured by their behavior. Sometimes it’s a matter of not noticing how uncomfortable all the Aquarians get when Cancer goes in for the group hug, and sometimes it’s a matter of being oblivious to the way those invited for Thanksgiving aren’t actually planning on camping in their jammies and drinking hot chocolate all the way through New Year’s. Cancer’s failure to notice people have lives of their own is very much akin to the way a loving parent may find it very hard to believe their grown child would prefer a date to family dinner–because with Cancer it feels a little like you’re expected at that family dinner every night. The positive side of this is that Cancer’s concern and wish to make comfortable everyone they meet is genuine and truly kind–and a large number of faux pas can be overlooked when the attitude is so loving (and the blankets, pillows, and snacks Cancer passes out don’t hurt their chances of being forgiven, either!) So lighten up on your Cancer–he or she mostly just needs a little schooling in boundaries, and a reminder that the entire world is not their cozy family room during a sleepover.

This ‘n That: Re-Virginization, Sulky Moon Men, and Dynamic Wonderin’

Hi Julie,

I woke up to the announcement that the staunch bachelor, David Letterman, has gotten married. But isn’t it bad to get married during Virgo retrograde? I do hope he’ll be okay!


I’m sure you meant Venus retrograde, and you’re right, as far as I’m concerned: I wouldn’t advise anyone to marry during this transit, no matter where it sits in your chart, with a couple of possible exceptions: if you have natal Venus retrograde, if 8 years ago you dealt with the same partnership issue, and now want to take it to the next level, or if you are renewing or otherwise reiterating something that’s already in existence–and from what Mr. Letterman has said, I think he’d probably fall into one of the latter two exceptions. Of course, most of the time, and for most of us, this is a bad time for such a move, if for no other reason than revision of the contract/ commitment may occur, perhaps for financial reasons, almost as a matter of course. Here’s Mr Letterman’s chart; what in it suggests a restless long-term bachelor nature that must co-exist with someone who, when commited, approaches the relationship with intensity and sincerity? david-lettermanBe aware this is a 2nd marriage for him.

As to that slip of ‘Virgo retrograde,’ I rather like the idea–we can all, for a few weeks every 18 months, become ‘virgin’ again!

Thanks for writing in!


Hi Julie,
I’m wondering what do you think about person A’s Venus/Mars/Asc./NNode (conjunct from 28Gem to 2Cancer) quincux person B’s Mars(29 Scorpio) – and then also trine person B’s Pluto (7 Scorpio)? What’s your take on the dynamic of that?


I’m not fond of venturing guesses based on cherry-picked data, simply because so much of the meaning is wrapped up in House placement in each chart, what these energies rule in the natal chart, and what the aspect picture within each natal chart says about the way the individual processes the energy even before he or she is in a relationship. I can say this: a quincunx only accepts a 1.5 to 2 degree differential, at the most, so it’s likely that some of the bodies you name will not be involved in the aspect, since the quincunx point is 29 degrees; as well, 9 degrees is too wide for a trine. We can also know this: that if person A is a woman, and person B is a man, then this dynamic involves the way each sees her- or himself ideally (and for A, no matter his or her sex, this involves the opposite sex ideal, as well, and too, Mars for either reps the sex drive in general–and so the interaction takes on an even more important air than it otherwise would, in terms of Self-image and the way this is reinforced, or denigrated, by the contact with the other person).

You’re welcome to submit birth data, and ask the same question, and you’ll get a more helpful answer! Or, if you’re an astrologer yourself, you may want to try my book, THE ASTROLOGY OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com now available at a much-reduced price as a pdf with a workbook that can be used on the computer or printed out. This book outlines all techniques I use in relationship analysis.

Thanks for writing!

And finally, we have an interesting search item in this: I’m frustrated by a sulking Cancer male–advice?

One thing about Cancer men, they’ve cornered the market on sensitivity–I don’t mean that they’re sensitive to others–it’s more like they’re empathetic, while at the same time the focus remains on them: “I’m so tuned in to your feelings!” It can get to the point where you’re almost afraid to say Good morning, because lord knows it might come out ‘wrong’ and send him into a three-day funk. All their testosterone revs up to compete with others to be the most sensitive, the most caring, the most nurturing–but all in service of their male egos–which makes it hard for the women in the room to cope. And once he starts to sulk, it’s a full-blown show–to pull out of it at the behest of others is to admit he wasn’t that deeply affected in the first place–so any cajoling, urging, or condemnation simply adds at least six hours to the equation!

Some are genuine ‘mama’s boys,’ though most will never own up to it (though the affects are the same as for all of them), while the rest glory in it because, between Mom’s doting and his sponge-like receptivity to his own feelings, the would-be woman in his life has an almost impossible alliance to crack. Her Moon must always be third in line–not insurmountable if you have a strong Venus and/ or Sun, but a little unnatural, nonetheless.

Here’s my thought: a sulking Cancer man can be brought out of it in one of two ways: by the genuine need of someone he loves, or by stealth. Feed the sulk: bring him a blanket, a cup of hot chocolate, rub his feet, put a cool cloth on his head, or just generally completely support whatever activity he is indulging in in his ‘distress.’ Though this on the surface feels like you’re feeding the monster, you’re really validating an idea about himself that is at his core, and which he’s not about to change–and in doing so you both make him feel nurtured, and acknowledge his need, no his right, to feel, feel, feel. Good luck!