Though this site mainly exists to address the problems that come with our most intimate, mating relationships, I don’t think it hurts to look at other relationships, too–in this case, professional ones (or at least, potential professional ones). What brought this to mind was seeing several articles recently on the use of social media to promote business and ‘brand’ your company. This isn’t a new idea, by any means, but at this point we can all be thankful that the spam mentality is almost a thing of the past. It’s been replaced by a more thoughtful and targeted approach–but my story takes us back to the time when the main marketing tool was found in contacting someone directly by email, often with a proposal that was touted as having mutual benefit for both parties. We’ve all received these–this is a bit of reflection on how one in particular came across.
In this instance, a woman contacted me hoping to barter her skills for my astrological ones. I don’t often barter, not because I have anything against it, but because consistently in my experience, those who have offered me their skills were not offering anything I could use. I’m not judging the worth of what they could do, I’m only saying it wasn’t of use to me–but with this one woman, I found her behavior Self-defeating in so many ways. Barter or cash, she was unlikely to get what she wanted.
We’ll call her ‘Hope.’ Hope contacted me because she was puzzled as to why she was unable to make any money with her consulting business–and of course the first and most obvious thing is, if one will not pay others for their services, how does one expect to be paid for one’s own? She explained that her business was offering others advice on how to best use their skills, rev up their lives, and make money doing what they loved. Do you see the red flag here? Hope was trying to sell a skill she didn’t have, otherwise she’d be doing it for herself! (The Chirotic skills are the exception to this rule, but these are seldom the main component of the vocation).
I declined Hope’s offer, but did say I’d be glad to look at her chart gratis and talk with her about what wasn’t working for her and how she could fix it. She was upset when I declined her services; she went on at length about how I was missing a huge opportunity to grow my business, claiming that she could totally re-vamp my operation and bring me so much more of what I wanted.
The difficulty with her promise was this: she had never once asked me what my objectives were, had not asked what I hoped to accomplish, had not asked if I was happy with the way things were going, just slapped me with a promise that she had skills I surely wanted–and the irony of offering me something she didn’t have was totally lost on her. It seemed she was intent on persuading me of what she could do; she was really unconcerned with whether she could actually effectively deliver this.
When I looked at Hope’s chart, what I saw was that her skills lay in a completely different direction. When I spoke with her I told her where I saw her strengths, what her unique attributes were, and how they could be best utilized; it turned out she really didn’t care, didn’t want to know why things weren’t working–she wanted to be told how to make what she’d chosen work, instead. Acknowledging her skills (and thus her path) violated the image of herself she wanted to have–she was enamored of herself playing the role of The Success Coach, and she didn’t care that this really wasn’t something she could do well–she had already taken the mantle and dammit she was going to wear it!
In checking out her site, where she had urged me to look around and see all the testimonies from happy clients, I found a handful of endorsements that spoke of her enthusiasm, and the way she was able to really (I don’t know how else to say this) work clients up into a frenzy of excitement without giving them any real way to implement their goals. It was a pep talk without a game plan for the scrimmage. And there was no way Hope was going to let go of her image-fantasy. Every once in a while I check in on Hope’s site, to see how things are going, and it appears precisely as it was about 5 years ago, when we first met, with the same schtick, promises, vague testimonials, and same stable of individuals (for she had recruited others, and had offered me a spot in the line-up) looking to sell their wares.
I wish Hope well; at the same time, I wish Hope would wake up. The situation she’s chosen is one I see people in frequently enough: they choose an image for themselves that is so far removed from their Soul’s choices that they are struggling to make it work in everyday life. Of course, only they can be the judge of whether their choices are working for them–but when someone is reaching out for help, it’s important that at the very least they acknowledge that what they’re doing isn’t working.
Astrology and all it can tell us about ourselves is worth nothing if we are unwilling to question our own assumptions about ourselves and our Path. And in seeking out others, whether in close personal relationship or in a business one, we will inevitably surround ourselves with others who are operating at the same ‘honesty level’ as we are–so we see in our companions both our own positives and our own weaknesses, however distorted or differently-directed they may be in our own manifestation of them. Seeing where we are is the first step in both taking control of our own life path and in making astrology work for us as fully and completely as it can–what else would be the point of it, besides making our lives better, after all?