What You’re Asking: Eros in Public, An Emo Ghost, and Stalker Synastry

Eros conjunct the Midheaven

In the chart of an individual, Eros conjunct the Midheaven will likely manifest as an eroticization of the career or public function; in other words, he or she will be turned on by the professional role, and/or by their own exposure (and I use that word intentionally) in the public arena. This can have very innocent results–someone super-dedicated to the role they play in life can be the result, the consummate professional who excels because they’re truly dedicated to what they do–or it can bring about the kind of person who participates very eagerly in life–they ‘play the game’ with gusto. This can also be someone who thrives on the attention of the crowd, and particularly likes to hear about themselves and their reputations–a kind of reverse gossip, who wants to hear it all, as long as it’s about him or her! It can also signal someone who’s very open and honest about their proclivities, or someone who doesn’t mind others knowing what they truly are turned on by–they show preferences with no holding back, no shame, very healthy as they let others look on minus any hesitation about others knowing who they are–because to them, the private stuff lies elsewhere. And yes, it can also signal someone for whom their own public image is eroticized, with those observing seeing them as a sexual object, or as personifying an idealized sexual image as prescribed by the relevant society or even social circle. See an example here https://askjulie.wordpress.com/the-lens-of-eros/

Cross-chart, if one person’s Eros conjuncts another’s MC, we see the Eros person turned on by the career and/or public image of the other person–this could be a celebrity-chaser, or someone who often finds themselves attracted to those that others admire, with or without it making any sense. The response of the MC person will depend largely on that person’s feeling about receiving that erotic projection; if it fts their own ideas about themselves, they may thoroughly enjoy it–if it’s at odds with the way they see themselves (or the way they believe the other person should perceive them) then it can be a disquieting experience to interact with the Eros individual–minds will be changed, or the MC person will beat feet out of there fast, out of sheer discomfort!

Don’t confuse Eros with love; it is, instead, focused desire with the intention to possess that upon which it’s fixed–and though sometimes that feels like love, it’s really a type of projection, a decision to mentally overlay the person or object (because yes, they call fetishes and toys and talismans and such ‘erotica’ for a reason!) with sexual meaning.

Do Gemini men indulge in adultery?

They’re human, aren’t they? No sign is immune to any behavior,  just as no sign guarantees a behavior–we’re much more complex than that. Here’s my thought: if you’re asking the question, then you’re not feeling secure in the relationship–so the next issue becomes, Is it you, or is it him? Sometimes we project our own proclivities onto others; in this case, you might be prone to stray yourself, or, more likely, you might be unreliable, and this could translate into a need to constantly be reassured in whatever life area you are least secure, in this case, the romantic one. Or, this could genuinely be your intuition speaking. Only you know for sure.

husband not emotionally there

My heart (and the hearts of many of my readers) definitely go out to you. It’s not easy trying to relate to someone who seems unreachable on any but an intellectual level. That said, we must acknowledge that your husband’s emotions exist–and it’s important to say this, as it’s easy to pretend that someone not showing emotion doesn’t have emotions. And that suggests that he’s either feeling alienated from his own emotions (via depression) or that he is hiding his feelings from you.

I don’t mean to be glib, but it seems to me that if your husband is not emotionally there, with you, then he must be somewhere else–and I think that in some circumstances, this is the reality we don’t want to face. If this happens to strike a chord with you, the first thing you must do is face that, though a relationship consists of many facets, and connects at many levels, a marital relationship without emotional engagement basically negates all but the legal definition of the pact; marriage is, at its very essence, an emotional communion–and without that, you may be looking at the fact that the marriage no longer exists.

It’s essential that you understand a few things before you make any decisions or pronouncements: that your husband has disengaged for a reason–it may be one he needs help with (like depression) or may be one he will fiercely deny or defend against (infidelity, emotional or physical, a change in his feelings toward you, a spiritual path that may have turned him strongly toward considering only himself–and this latter should’ve lead him to formally end a relationship with you long before, so it’s not a more ‘noble’ excuse). You must also recognize that you cannot control his responses, nor should you try; though there may be a feeling that he ‘owes you’ (as implied by some readings of the marriage vows) sorting this out is not helped by judgments or demands, though it’s true that as your partner, he needs to acknowledge and deal with his own disengagement. You must also acknowledge your own, true feelings; sometimes we are as disengaged as our partner, but don’t want to see it–and sometimes we simply want to extract ‘payment’ in some form, for the pain we feel they’ve caused–but in both instances, we may not love anymore, ourselves, and are misrepresenting our own position, out of righteousness, as well as misunderstanding our own emotional state.

Sometimes we cannot get our partner, when he’s in this state, to speak in any meaningful way about existing circumstances, and in this case, it falls to you to decide how you feel (regardless of his feelings–after all, your feelings aren’t dependent on his, are they? And if they are, then it’s high time this relationship was examined, anyway). You only have control of yourself, so once you determine your own feelings (and sort out your own needs) you’ll know whether this ghost husband is offering anything sustainable, anything that still retains the shape of a marriage, and it will be quite obvious what you must do from there. Good luck–

Why did Venus hate Psyche?

I think ‘hate’ is the wrong word here–I think Venus was threatened by Psyche’s beauty, and that would make her both envious (wanting what Psyche has) and jealous (when Venus’ son Eros, whose full attention Venus had up to this point, falls in love with Psyche–Venus wants the attention of Eros, that Psyche now has). It just illustrates the idea that a woman who tries to destroy another woman hates a little part of herself–not a pretty picture at all.

stalker synastry

All synastry is highly dependent on the interaction of individual charts for ‘punch,’ and the synastry of a stalker to a stalkee could have any number of compelling aspects. A few include: the Pluto of the stalker to any identity energy (Sun, Moon, Venus for female, Mars for male, chart ruler, Sun or Moon ruler) of the stalked; Saturn of the stalker to these same identity energies (signalling a possible compulsion to control); Ceres (especially a female’s Ceres) to prominent chart energies; in negative Juno contact (usually more bossy than stalky); and Neptune prominent in the stalker’s chart and contacting significant energies of the stalkee–this latter obviously brings a high possibility of delusion into the mix. Still, so much depends on how these individuals use their energies, that just having some of these contacts doesn’t necessarily promise obsession–whew!

And check out this article for a really interesting account of youthful indiscretion–or perhaps, youthful optimism that sees things in a more romatic light than they warrant: http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/ class=”hiddenSpellError” pre=””>jun/07/lynn-barber-virginity-relationships

What You’re Asking: Asteroids and Social Skills

special powers psyche goddess has

I’m surprised Yoda wasn’t able to answer this (get it? the word order is oh *sigh* never mind just a sad attempt at a joke!) When Zeus found in Psyche’s favor (see the full account of Psyche, Eros, and Venus in ‘The Astrology of Intimate Relationship’ available here http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com or in the original article here https://askjulie.wordpress.com/venus-and-psyche/) he awarded the mortal freshly minted as goddess a portion of Venus’ realm. The story of what happened between Venus and Psyche suggests that Psyche’s placement and aspects may show our attitude toward committed love, in the form of one’s struggle to love and be loved without impediment, as well as showing particular relationships with/ to females that could involve jealousy and competition. It also represents on a personal level one’s potential to be born to a new, more powerful life, related in the story to her revival by Eros and the conveyance of the status of goddess by Zeus. I think Psyche in the natal chart must be read in conjunction with Venus–the relationship between the two, once you know the story of their interaction, will tell you a great deal about the chart individual’s attitudes toward love and relationship, and for females, is especially descriptive of patterns of interaction they may encounter with other females. The only special powers Psyche has are ones available to all of us: persistence, curiosity, intuitive openness and willingness to follow the prompts of the Universe, and the power that comes with loving another.

Ceres synastry

Ceres is goddess of Nature, an entity equivalent to Mother Earth, and having such a maternal vibe can wreak havoc in a romantic relationship (contact can, of course, be a huge plus between a parent and child, nurse/ physician/ health care provider and patient, or in friendships or any relationship where some caretaking, one person of the other, may be welcome or in order). It’s in romance where Ceres can act as the ultimate desire-killer, particularly when a woman’s Ceres contacts something identity-oriented of a man’s–Sun, Mars, Ascendant ruler, Sun ruler, Midheaven. Then we may see the male perceive the female as trying to mother him, and this can be no matter what her real actions are–the Ceres energy becomes an overlay to the perceptual lens–she can’t help but seem motherly to him, as he will look for and identify those attitudes and behaviors on his own! The other main effect of any Ceres contact is that it shows where and how the Ceres individual may be inclined to negotiate with the other person. For instance, a man’s Ceres conjunct a woman’s Sun, Moon, or Venus may involve him trying to influence her identity, particularly in a way that promotes what he sees as ‘natural.’ He may try to apply his ideas of standards of beauty as expressed through the sign placement of the conjunction, or those that relate to his own Moon or Venus placements. He may also try to negotiate for her to carry a portion of his anima. Or, for example, with a woman’s Ceres conjunct a man’s Pluto, we see the classic negotiation situation between two powerful Beings; in this case, it’s likely the relationship will feature a constant jockeying for power and position–but this isn’t necessarily bad–for some, it can be a stimulating and enjoyable contact, along the lines of playful sparring.

how to prevent clinginess

Dryer sheets, and healthy Self-esteem. Nothing is more attractive than not being needy and clinging in the presence of your SO. When tempted to make like a sweet pea vine, remind yourself that a good relationship doesn’t ask you to debase yourself, or require you to beg for attention, and certainly doesn’t involve a mistrust of your partner that makes you demand to know her or his every move. Love yourself enough not to accept clinginess as part of your relationship repertoire, and then do something with your energy, mind, and time–any guy worth a **** will show up on a regular basis and give you no reason to feel insecure.

astrologically better than me

There is no such thing, and that goes for each and every one of us.

How to improve the social skills of a Cancer?

Ouch! Though Cancers can be some of the most kind, nurturing, and genuinely caring individuals around, they do have a tiny social blind spot: they often don’t seem to recognize that not everyone feels nurtured by their behavior. Sometimes it’s a matter of not noticing how uncomfortable all the Aquarians get when Cancer goes in for the group hug, and sometimes it’s a matter of being oblivious to the way those invited for Thanksgiving aren’t actually planning on camping in their jammies and drinking hot chocolate all the way through New Year’s. Cancer’s failure to notice people have lives of their own is very much akin to the way a loving parent may find it very hard to believe their grown child would prefer a date to family dinner–because with Cancer it feels a little like you’re expected at that family dinner every night. The positive side of this is that Cancer’s concern and wish to make comfortable everyone they meet is genuine and truly kind–and a large number of faux pas can be overlooked when the attitude is so loving (and the blankets, pillows, and snacks Cancer passes out don’t hurt their chances of being forgiven, either!) So lighten up on your Cancer–he or she mostly just needs a little schooling in boundaries, and a reminder that the entire world is not their cozy family room during a sleepover.